Tuesday, March 21, 2017

The realization

Hey readers! Or should I said the spirit/soul readers?

Had my internship for 2 months and what I actually learnt is not only about the job scope that I am doing right now but to understand more how people live their life.
However, there may be some of them that had set their own future goals within them, maybe to become a future director? or an audit partner? They may thought of that.

there are really many kinds of personalities in this world.
Some of them will not smile at the people who served them,
Some of them gets frustrated easily.
Some of them may think that they have the rank in this job, they could control the lower level staff.
Some of them like to work over night to prove that they are reliable enough to be promoted.

In this country, most of us do not really have the courage to sound out their own opinion, not like the western countries where they have the so called freedom of speech...That is why working life here will be so following to the rules and regulation of the company. I know consistency is important. Too consistent may make a people go uneasy.

Well...Work doesn't really help a professional to have a better life.
Got tricked by the adults where they always said study till degree or higher so you're able to find a better job.

I don't find this job to be as good as the sweepers who sweeps the rubbish beside the road. The only difference is that they stays under the sun, and we were staying in the aircond room enjoying the aircond. But with the workload, you won't even care abou the aircond because you task distracts you form office back to home.


Excited and it's time to grow up a little more mature

Not sure where to start, because I'm out of topic.Not true to say out of topic, because things we being accumulated too long and I don't know where should I start first.

About the happy things, or the sad ones? I think after the worst tragedy happened on my body, I will never had a better life since then. It's horrible and helpless. I don't want to apologize because I know I'll repeat the same mistakes again. Don't dare to promise.

Life were so miserable since then. I couldn't help but to settle all these by myself. Internship still goes on till this week 26/03/2017 , I am super excited. I will be visiting Canada soon this coming April till May. I wish I could change everything when I came back to Malaysia. I hope the environment there could change every single piece of shit of me. I want to change, and I want to change completely.

I will be writing about visiting Canada for the next post. I hope I could provide a better way of describing when I am writing about my Canada trip. So that I could look back on what I've wrote few year later.

Counting down 3 days till my internship ends, I got to appreciate my study life, because working is kinda sucks.No freedom, No exercising. It's tiring. I don't know how will those people live with the job that they don't like? I am not going to get a job that doesn't suit me.

It seems like accounting doesn't suit me after all.

Random post just to make this blog active again.
See you soon next post.

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Ever had the feeling of having your mood swinging everyday?
I do.
I am the one who does not have a stable mindset to go through everyday,
sometimes angry, sometimes happy, sometimes moody, sometimes feeling so lifeless.
And what I've figured out is not about blaming other people but to blame myself by mixing with the wrong bunch of people.

I mean, it's not wrong to mix with them, 
unless you're able to control your attitude.
I am not those kind of person who can controls my emotion or attitude.
When I get excited, i tend to hurt someone,
and when I have my mood down, (which is my current situation)
I'll try to be quiet and started thinking "why am I the one who always bully people and hurting people?"

Depressing huh.
Well, I don't know how long can this thing last but I hope it'll gone forever,
I don't wanna hurt anyone else anymore,

I love being myself,
I like the way how I look but it doesn't look the same as how the others look at me.

I guess this personality of mine is a blessing from God :)
I love being alone,
and I didn't mean that I don't like to make friends.
I like to go out with friends sometimes but...
I still prefer to go out alone when I need to get something for myself.
There are few reasons as well,
1) i don't need to concern about how boring they are if I went for my shopping.
2) I can just have a sudden plan rather than following the plan we've planned earlier.
3) It can be more relaxed.
4) I do not need to follow what they wanted to do.

Friends doesn't know me quite well, because I never tell them how I actually feel. They asked, but I insist not to share it out, even if I did, who will be the one helping me with these problems? Its true that problems needed to be expressed out, they may not help you, but you must be able to find out the problems within you.
Never ever keep it to yourself (but I still keep it for myself), tell it out, share it out as all these problems may be solved within few hours if we shared it out and discuss it together.

This will be my last blog for today. 

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Not even the friendship stays

Thank you.

No matter how we treated each other when we were in that 3 days 2 nights stay, I'll still take it as an appreciation.
I don't care whether you're reading my blog or you don't.
And you know who you are if you're reading this.

To be honest (but not too honest), I just want to make things clear between the 2 of us, that is why I promise to your invitation.

In the first place, I thought you were those very secretive kind of person. Thought you don't want to talk about your true feelings...or, you don't want to share about what you're thinking inside your heart.
But I was wrong, all this while, it was actually me who doesn't want to listen to what you're thinking, before this when I was so mad at you, I don't even want to listen to what you're going to say and I just shut you up.

I gave you up and that's true. I'll never look into our past from the day I realize that me and you aren't suitable to be together. Never ever.
We don't have the same topic to talk about, we will never agree to each other's opinion, the purpose of us opening up a topic were totally different, etc.

We talked about everything in the room, and, thank you for being yourself when you're in front of me. I am really touched with that. Thank you for letting me know, why in the first place we're not suppose to be together.
You were just too imperfect for me.

I were so into monies and you were so into those ridiculous calculation which I don't understand. This is the one that makes the 2 of us stop talking to each other.
And I'm fine with that To be honest :).

Once again.
Thanks for being yourself. 

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Planning and control

I bet this post may be saved as my draft again, there are actually a total of 11 drafts that I drafted before this, but fortunately I didn't post all of them,
those drafted post looks so foolish after reading them.

Been inspired by one of the ex-Emirates cabin crew from the day I knew her, but I bet she wouldn't recognized me, we knew each other in the same company but in a different department.
I was just a 15 y/o filing girl during that time but....How lucky am I that she asked me out for lunch during our break time.

I was so bashful till the extent that  I don't know what kind of topic should I brag about. But there's another colleague accompanied us for lunch, which, kinda made me eased throughout the whole lunch session. 
Her English is wayy better than me, that is why she had been offered for that job, no doubt, H-A-H.

Back to the main topic, my life had been so miserable when I started this specific subject called performance management, the lecturer never ever stop mentioning about planning and control.

"When you want to control, you got to plan"
Opps, sound so different to my current life now,
I didn't plan on what I should do the next day, 
I didn't plan on what I will be working as in the near future,
neither thinking about realizing my own interest. (because I don't even know what my interest is).

But anyway, I tried planning my schedule once, but I failed to comply with what I've scheduled on my calendar. I gave up after that. Well, I should try other method but I didn't, I just gave up right away.

Then I found out that some of the future activities that I should be participating it, I forgot when was the actual date. Sometimes I even missed out the activity that I signed few months before, which is quite saddening, I paid for that price but yet i missed out, even though is only RM5. (H-A-H)

After this incident, I tried to give it a try one more time, (Thanks to my phone for having a calendar to remind me after I set the reminder alarm.) which then I found out it is quite useful and I never missed out any activity after that.

There are some time where I do not have plans but a direct decision being made by me. (lets go for food hunt!). Mostly are KL area of course. haha.

Sometimes planning does play an important role, but planning may be in a shorter time frame or in a longer time frame or middle. As long as you're well prepared, nothing is going to run any further from the plan you've planned.

Calendar for me is essential, because it serves as part of my reminder as well (a silent reminder I shall say, because it never reminds me when the specific time I set reached).

Till then, and I didn't make this blog post as a draft!!! (actually I did few days ago, I wrote the other half today)

Friday, May 27, 2016


I'm sorry about rejecting you,
but, why am I the one who said sorry?
Easy, I don't want to lose a friend like you,
I mean, it is better when we were friends.

You are just way too kind and soft spoken which fulfilled my boyfriend requirement,
But, what you think, is different from what I'm thinking about,
maybe,you're using me?
maybe, you just wanna get some excitement?
i don't know, these are just assumptions.

but I hope that, our friendship will last until the day we die:)

See you soon, KY.

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Redang Trip.

Hello!!! :D
I've been compiling all these blogging post when days go by as the lazy blogger does not like to update her own blog everyday, a bad habit I should say!
I have more things to talk about my life, its way too good that I can't even describe it in 1 blog post, even if I do, It'll be a very long one, no doubt, the blogger (which is me) would not read such a long boring blog either!

Back to the main topic - 
This is the first time I suggested a trip to my Degree group of friends. We never went out that usual like I did during my diploma life, which now makes me kind of regret treating my ex-classmates cruely. I gave up all of them just because of 1 person who ruined all the relationship. But since it's a past, let bygone be bygone. 

1 person missing, he doesn't know how to come to this place and we almost missed our bus. Haha
So it's a total of 8 person attended out of 17 of them. Which is kind of a success trip tho.

Before the other 4 arrive, we played...
UNO and -idk what chinese card is this-
but its kinda fun!

After travelling for 3 hours, the bus driver stopped us at one of the R&R pit stop for us to loosen our tight muscles for 30minutes.

These are their supper...
Nasi Lemak...
The Malaysian's all time favorite.

This is the guy that lost his way to TBS xD!

Everyone slept during the journey,
well, of course we will.
Its a midnight drive where we can't even see the outside view.

And we reached at 5:45AM!

Walking towards the Jetty.
Jetty is only 10 minutes walk from Terengganu Bus Station.

we boarded a 9AM speed boat to the island
and we reached there at 10 and we boarded another boat to reach to the dry land.

Here are some of the sea view, my friend caught this beach view better than mine, never underestimate a "seldom-selfie-person". She seldom took selfie but her shots are very nice and snap to the point!
The sea water are quite clear actually, but I believe it is not as clear as last time before this area had become one of the tourist attractions.

I guess this is our first dinner on the first day of our trip and the best group photo I can ever find.
We went for a walk to the souvenir shop after our dinner, the dinner was fine, never expect that awful for their vegie, it taste like we're eating chemicals more than just vegies. We threw all the vegies, how much we took, how much we threw it away.

I woke up the earliest as it was too cold to sleep in the resort, Wondering around the sea side, sitting on the beach chair relaxing while waiting for the sunrise. 
Didn't happen to see any of the sunrise, kind of disappointing but it's okay. 
As long as I'm satisfied with the sound of the sea waves.

We went for snorkeling twice in a day, which is kind of headache as I feel like puking. But I still insist to continue with the activity, never wanted to waste the opportunity when I have one. It's fun I can say! We saw many fishes, but the disadvantage is there's too many people when we bought this package. people were swimming here and there feeding those fishes and take a picture together with the fishes.
Pictures taken for all the marine animals were too low quality, thus, never wanted to post any of them, but there are some photos that is being saved in the camera originally.

Yeah, this is how Redang looks like, its fun if we go with the right person, most of the tourists are locals and they came by pairs. 
Really missed it so much despite of the giddiness when I am snorkeling. Overall was superB!
This place full of memories. Was touched from the bottom of my heart, it was fun, super fun! I would like to go with them again! 

Till now. See ya.